The correspondent of Scream TV, Priya Yell Tiwari or PYT was interviewing Mango Man, the spokesperson of Always Anarchy Party or AAP.
“What’s all this brouhaha over your Deputy CM holidaying in Finland when Delhi is battling a Chikungunya and Dengue epidemic,” PYT asked Mango Man.
“All that’s bull manure, a devious strategy by the opposition and certain sections of the media to malign Sisodiyaji,” replied Mango Man.
“What do you mean?”
“Finland is the number one country as far as the education is concerned. Sisodiyaji has gone to carry out an in-depth study of the teaching methods. Our PM says, ‘Beti Padhao, Desh bachaho’. Sisodiyaji is not only trying to bachao betis, but also betas, mummys, papas, mamas, mamis, chachas, chachis et al.”
“Once he returns to India, his plan will be implemented in Delhi. When the government sees its success, it will make sure everybody in India will be covered.”
“I still didn’t get it?”
“See why do diseases like Chikungunya and Dengue occur? Because of lack of sanitation and hygiene. And how can the people be made aware of cleanliness – only through real education. And who has the most effective formula for education – the Finnish people. So, it is must for us to replicate the Finnish model in our country. And that is exactly what Sisodiyaji has gone to do. His strategy will root out all diseases from the country. Bharat will once again become Mahaan in the truest sense. And instead of appreciation, he is getting flak from every quarter,” Mango Man said, removing a hanky and wiping non-existent tears.
“But more than a serious tour, this seems to be some kind of a jaunt with him visiting heritage sights and tourist spots. Apparently he even went to the top of the tallest tower in Helsinki to get a panoramic view.”
“That’s all vicious propaganda. After carefully listening to all the inputs given by the Finnish experts, Sisodiyaji wanted to internalize them fully. He went to the tower to meditate and reach a stage of enlightenment. Haven’t our seers being doing it for ages? When they seek enlightenment they are called prophets and now when an Aadmi who is Aam, does the same thing he is labelled a sinner? These kind of double standards make me sick.”
“Your Health Minister says that according to Google, people cannot die of Chikungunya? I don’t think even you can justify something as absurd as this,” PYT asked.
“By quoting Google, Satyendra ji was only trying to prevent the panic that was being created by the media from spreading further. Besides, for decades every government has been trying to popularise technology. With his single statement, Satyendraji has made the internet so very sought after. Almost every citizen was logging on to find out what the modern messiah Google says about Chikungunya.”
PYT googled at him, sorry goggled at him, unable to believe what she was hearing.
“See PYT, just imagine if Google begins to be trusted by the aam aadmi, what kind of an impact it will have on the health care system?”
“What do you mean?”
“Whenever anyone displays symptoms of a particular disease, like Dengue, he need not rush to the hospital. All he has to do is to see on Google Map whether a case is reported in his house. If Google map shows it is all clear, he can happily stay put. Only those individuals who are shown as having been afflicted, on Google Map, may go for treatment. This way the load on the government hospitals will be reduced by 1/10th.”
“Would you like to add anything else?” PYT asked, wiping her brow. The strain of listening to the logic of Mango Man was telling on her.
“I would only like to appeal to the people of India to start a campaign for nominating Sisodiyaji for the Ramon Magsaysay award and Satyendraji for the Bharat Ratna.”