Why AAP’s Sandeep and Ashutosh Are Women Welfare Champions & Dalit Messiahs

In this interview with Sandip Kumar's PRO, we explore how AAP's Sandeep and Ashutosh have unleashed Women & Dalit Empowerment with their words and deeds. AAP shows how it represents the common man by indulging in common crimes!

Sweety Chaddha, the PRO of Sandip Kumar was in conversation with Tina Rana Pillai or TRP, the anchor of India Today.

Photo: AAP spokesperson Ashutosh defending Sandip. In the background, the so called 'CD' is being played.
Photo: AAP spokesperson Ashutosh defending Sandip. In the background, the so called ‘CD’ is being played.

“Sweety, what is all this hullabaloo over Sandip Kumar’s close encounters of the female kind.”
“You know TRP, Sandipji is the most misunderstood person in the global political arena, even more than Donald Trump.”

“How’s that?”
“See, for hundreds of years, Dalits have been tortured and victimized by the upper castes. They have been treated as pariahs who cannot even touch the higher castes. By fornicating with a upper caste girl, Sandipji has bridged every gap that existed between Dalits and the rest. His act has empowered Dalits like no other act since Karna hugged Duryodhana.”

“But everyone is saying he has exploited the woman in the now infamous CD?”
“Of course not. He is a Minister in charge of women welfare, and that is exactly what he was indulging in?”

“What do you mean?”
“The woman came to him for love, affection, succor and a ration card. He couldn’t turn her off, could he? It would have been so cruel. So he rose to the occasion and took her in his arms.”

“But the woman is now saying that he spiked her drink and raped her?”
“That is just strategy of the opposition to malign Sandipji and AAP?”

“Why then did Kejriwal sack Sandip?”
“The only race Kejriwal has ever won in his life is ‘Sack Race’ when he was in Upper KG. Since then he has been obsessed with it. After becoming CM too, he has gone on a ‘sacking’ spree, and sacked four of his Ministers.”

“If Sandip was innocent, why did he resign?”
“In the interest of the party. Actually he had dispatched his assistant, Mai-ka-lal Phelps with the letter to Kejriwal. Because of the rains, Phelps had gone in full swimming gear but had got confused between the main road and the side gutter. By the time Phelps reached Kejriwal, the CM had already chucked Sandip from the party. But don’t worry, Sandip will prove his innocence soon and come back as Minister.”

“What do you make of Ashutosh’s defense of Sandip?”
“I think Ashutoshji has in one single blog done greater yeoman service to the oppressed, depressed and suppressed classes, than writers who have written tomes on the subject?”

“How’s that?”
“By comparing Sandipji, a Dalit, to the Father of the nation and Uncle of the country, he has put Dalits on the ultimate pedestal. He has proved what a visionary he is.”

“Tell me, Sweety, AAP had come to power on the promise of a clean administration and had even chosen a broom as its symbol. But how come in less than two years it is now caught in a web of scandals. It does not seem to represent the common man anymore.”
“You are completely wrong. Take our society. If you switch on any news channel, you’ll find the common man taking or giving bribes, forging a certificate or a degree, trying to make a quick buck by any means (jugaad) and trying to explore the anatomy of the fair sex with his eyes or hands.”

“Yes, I think you are right.”
“Doesn’t this prove that AAP represents the common man more than any other party? Our Ministers are following the same common practices which the Aam Admi indulges in? In fact the time has come to make AAP a national party and Arvind Kejriwal the Prime Minister of the country.”

“Yes, with his penchant for sacking, he might even sack the PM of Pakistan and make this entire region safe for everyone,” TRP declared doing high fives with Sweety.



Disclaimer: This is a satirical article and is a work of fiction. Kindly do not confuse the news on this website as being genuine and factually true. This is a user generated content. You can also join Teekhi Mirchi and write for us.
Ramendra Kumar
About Ramendra Kumar 22 Articles
An award winning writer Ramendra Kumar (Ramen) has 30 books, brought out by well known publishers, to his credit. Ramen's writings have been published in several Indian and foreign languages and included in text books, as well as national and international anthologies. Ramen has also been invited to different fora as an inspirational speaker and storyteller.

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