Punjab To Be Declared A Wet State

Experts have hailed this move, and many have already started demanding legalizing drugs in Punjab.

Chandigarh: Punjab, famous for its intestinal and liver capabilities to digest and absorb the alcohol (fermented grains), in view of recent developments, might be declared as a WET State.

Soon to be launched whisky brand in Punjab
Soon to be launched whisky brand in Punjab

Wet State means only Punjab will have the facility of availing subsidy on all types of hard drinks including Beer, Whisky, Wine, Cognac etc. Punjabis are ecstatic and are happy with the outcomes, as their per capita income was dropping and growth rate was poor and this has come as a merry go round moment for them.

Reacting to this, opposition has demanded a CBI (Chaal Baaz of India) level probe and has sent a complaint to the Election Commission stating that ruling party SAD (Shiromani Akli Daldal), in conjunction and partnership with BJP at center has deliberately taken away this from Congress’s Manifesto. This Manifesto has been meticulously designed by Mr. Bevrha Singh Piyakarh after putting in a great research.

Reacting to these allegations, SAD spokerperson, Mr. Raaj Singh Daaru said, “Punjab was always being served with loads of Daaru and Dope on a daily basis…even at times when congress had not even thought about their manifesto.”

Data proving Punjabi's love for liquor
Data proving Punjabi’s love for liquor

Mr. Daaru further cautioned that SAD will strictly take action if Congress tries to do any intellectual theft. (OMG! Intellectual theft, and that too from SAD…anyways!). Also, Mr. Raaj said that Punjab is the first state in the country where we have provided something that we are about to mention in the upcoming manifesto.

A new slogan was also coined by the spokesperson-

BAHUT HO GAYA AATA DAAL, HUN AAPAAn KHAAVAANGE FREE MAAL (Afeem).

Originally published on Navjit’s blog here.

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