Aliens abduct Rajat Sharma, Demand ‘apology’ for blasphemous India TV stories

Editors Guild of India (whatever that is) has strongly condemned this incident and asked current Indian government to act swiftly in this matter and ensure that India's best journalist is brought back

Noida: In a shocking incident that shattered entire media fraternity, aliens from a galaxy approximately 7 lacs light years away abducted India’s best journalist Rajat Sharma who is Editor-in-Chief of India’s best entertainment channel India TV. The incident has forced all American agencies (including MIB) tracking and containing extra-terrestrial species to swing into action.

A 'Supari' Alien abductor demonstrating his gadget that will be used to abduct and bring Rajat Sharma who is seen in a display near him
A ‘Supari’ Alien abductor demonstrating his gadget that he used to abduct and bring Rajat Sharma to his galaxy

Speaking exclusively to Teekhi Mirchi over advanced telemetry communication link setup in our studio, president of Pissed-off Aliens Consortium (PAC) Chu Pu Mu Lu said,  “This is blasphemous! They first said we aliens drink cow milk and are abducting them from your planet. We said nothing and ignored this stupidity. But they crossed limit when they ran stories saying we aliens like Himesh Reshammiya’s music and are planning to abduct him. Enough is enough! Now we’ll return this jackass only when he tenders an apology in front of those sexy female TV anchors.”

When Teekha Reporter asked Chu Pu Mu Lu why can’t they file defamation case in Indian courts against India TV, instead of resorting to this extreme step, he replied that their intelligence says kidnapping and blackmailing is the most effective ways on earth to get your voice heard and demands met.

Meanwhile, Editors Guild of India (whatever that is) has strongly condemned this incident and asked current Indian government to act swiftly in the matter and ensure that India’s best journalist is brought back.

“You guys suck! If our demands aren’t met, we’ll abduct another guy who shouts in a TV studio so much that his voice reaches our galaxy. I can hardly watch my favorite TV show here”, cried another alien.

India has decided to send a team of people who are considered to possess best diplomatic skills: Baba Ramdev, Giriraj Singh, Pramod Muthalik and Shankaracharya to negotiate with the aliens. They will be sent via special PSLV-C23 rocket, that is widely believed in Media to be recently invented by India’s PM Narendra Modi.

At the time of writing this news post, no FIR against aliens could be filed, as India’s NIA, CBI, IB, RAW, CID, SIT and state police were fighting among themselves over jurisdiction of the matter.

 

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Amresh
About Amresh 98 Articles
What's fake today, will be real tomorrow.

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