Mumbai: After Health Minister Dr. Harshvardhan’s suggestion that people in India should wear values instead of condoms while having sex, Condom manufacturers in India have decided to halt production of this useless commodity. This decision was taken in a hastily convened meeting of “Confederation Of Condom Kaarigars” (COCKs) in Mumbai.
“We’re going to witness a huge decline in demand for Condoms…as more and more Indians inspired by our honorable Health Minister stop using our products and replace them with religious and spiritual books in their bedrooms. Our estimate is that, this business of manufacturing Condoms is unviable now. So, we decided to tweak our production line a little, and instead started manufacturing branded birthday balloons.”, Durex India chairman Mast Ram Singh told Teekhi Mirchi.
Commenting on this latest development, a well known advertisement guru told Teekhi Mirchi, “People were already angry with these culture-damaging advertisements on TV. It was severely contaminating innocent minds of Indians, who otherwise are known for respecting women and refraining from sexual violence. That’s the reason Sushma Swarajji had to ban these pervert ads on TV.”
This decision has been received with mixed reactions from citizens and experts alike. While netizens hailed the move as a next step towards child-empowerment and purification of highly westernized Indian society, some people think otherwise.
“My 4-year old child Pappu came shouting towards me in a shopping mall – Papa-Papa, Mujhe Durex waala Gubbara laake do…main aur Pinky khoob khelenge isake saath. Bada Maza Aayega”, A concerned Mumbaikar (name withheld) revealed to Teekha Reporter.
“This brought chilling sensation down my spine. I felt completely numb, as people around me in shopping mall burst into laughter. I was speechless for next 5 minutes. These guys should refrain using these brands on children products.”, he further added.
When Teekhi Mirchi tried to get Dr. Harshvardhan‘s reaction, who is also an ENT doctor, he initially seemed shocked and expressed unawareness, but further shouted angrily, “What?, they started selling condoms in disguise of Balloons? We’ll now ban Balloons too, so that it’s not misused by children!”