Mumbai: Home delivery apps have made life easy for the fitness freaks who will run to burn the calories, but will not go out to buy stuff.
Even the fitness gadgets like Fitbit are delivered to home, which is the biggest irony. Competition is increasing by leaps and bound. Companies are fighting for market share in an ever increasing market of lazy people.
Seldom have we found an App dedicated to women, which was making the fairer gender feel left out by marketers. But not anymore, as a guy named Friendzoned Bansal has come out with the solution. The app is named Loafers (आवारा), which will hire friendzoned unemployed youth to deliver goods to the ladies.
People will be hired on the basis of their desperate efforts to please a girl, never say die attitude in convincing an already committed girl, no urge for money, no ambition in life and other 23 redundant skills. The app will offer 100% discounts and cashbacks as payment will be made by these desperate Loafers. Yes you got it right, the employees will be called loafers. Hiring process has started and looking at the enthusiasm shown by the candidates, last mile delivery concerns for girls will be a thing of the past.
Delivery can be scheduled at any time of the day, 24 hrs a week as there will be guys competing to deliver the goods first. In some cases delivery will be made even before the order is placed, as the loafers will be continuously tracking the amount of goods consumed by the girls in a given amount of time. It will be an interest based job, where no salary will be paid to the loafers, though they can get tips from the consumer in form of telephone numbers.
Well, hope the new application comes good and serves the nation in eradicating unemployment. Apply fast as there is lots of competition out there. Be the first to deliver, you never know someday you will come out of the friend zone.
(Also published by Santa on Faking News here.)