Meghna Patel To Head RBI After Rajan

In a rather shocking move, Jaitley named bollywood starlet Meghna Patel RBI head, as the successor to the mighty Rajan.

Finance Minister Arun Jaitley said in an interview to Reuters NDTV that the government has selected the next governor of the RBI after Raghuram Rajan’s term expires in early September. In a rather shocking move Jaitley named bollywood starlet Meghna Patel as the successor to the mighty Rajan.

Meghna Patel: Ushering a new era of transparent monetary policy
Meghna Patel: Ushering a new era of transparent monetary policy.

Puzzled by this decision, we asked Arun Jaitley to briefly explain the selection process to us. “We needed someone who could compete with Raghuram Rajan’s killer looks. People suggested various names such as Salman Khan, Virat Kohli and so on”, said Jaitley. So why were they rejected?

“We wanted to secure the growing feminist vote bank. All recent appointees, such as Nihalani and Chauhan, are men. Women deserve a chance too”, replied Jaitley. Hence the selection committee changed the list to include highly qualified women such as Poonam Pandey and Sunny Leone. “But Amit bhai was not satisfied. He wanted someone loyal to his saheb. So I added Meghna Patel’s name as well”, he added.

When asked to explain why Meghna Patel was chosen over qualified economists, Mr Jaitley replied, “We wanted someone we could understand. Dr Rajan did great work, no doubt, but we politicians cannot understand all the economics. We need more transparency if the government is to have any oversight of the RBI. Meghna Patel provides that transparency.”

We asked him why Sunny Leone was not selected, since her record of transparency is even better than Meghna Patel’s. “We wanted to appoint miss Leone to the post, honestly. Our legislators in state assemblies and even Sri Sri Ravishankar and parliament were actively pushing for her appointment, but Subramanian Swamy objected saying that she is not fully Indian”, replied a slightly disappointed Jaitley.

To summarise, Mr Jaitley listed all the tough selection criteria that Meghna Patel satisfied. “She has killer looks. She is loyal to Modi ji. And she provides transparency”, said the Finance Minister.

We thanked Mr Jaitley for explaining the selection process for top government posts. It will be interesting to see who else the Modi government appoints to top posts, such as Army Chief when General Dalbir Singh retires next year.

 

Author’s Note: I apologise to my dear readers if they found the article not funny. I did not expect anybody to go beyond the picture.

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