India To Use Services of Sony TV’s CID To Bring Vijay Mallya Back

India has decided to use services of Sony TV's CID to bring absconders like Vijay Mallya and Lalit Modi back. CIDs are known for cracking toughest criminal cases in India.

New Delhi: Clueless on how absconders regularly leave India under everybody’s nose, and leave us wondering why nobody has got no fucking idea on why nobody saw them leaving, India has now decided to use the services of Sony TV’s CID, which is a well-known household name when it comes to cracking almost any civil or criminal case.

CID Sony TV
A glimpse of CID is enough to make any Indian criminal pee in their pants out of fear. Just kidding :)

“Gone are the days when absconders like Quattrochi or Anderson had to secretly escape from India after committing crime here. Now, these guys first declare that they are going to leave India, and then they suddenly disappear! With these changing trends of today’s times, it was crucial to take some unconventional route and we decided to contact ACP Pradyuman, who kindly accepted our request,” a Home Ministry official told Teekhi Mirchi.

In return for these services, Sony TV will record the entire operation, and broadcast live it on the lines of popular TV show Bigg Boss. This is expected to generate huge revenue for Sony TV, a win-win. A part of this revenue may also be shared with Mallya, to bail out his ailing Kingfisher Airlines.

“We’ll bring both Mallya and Modi back!” declared an excited senior Program Manager of Sony TV in front of this reporter.

When Teekhi Mirchi pressed whether that meant bringing back ‘Narendra’ Modi from his foreign tour Juggernaut, the official clarified, “No, No….Not that Modi…I meant Lalit Modi, whom India let abscond on ‘humanitarian’ grounds.”

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Jabra
About Jabra 295 Articles
Stupidity and sycophancy are my fuel.

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