Top 10 Patanjali Products You Must Buy

Our research team picked the best ones from their inventory, and we're presenting to you top 10 Patanjali products you must buy.

Teekhi Mirchi’s new venture ChilliKart.com has tied up with Baba Ramdev’s Patanjali Pharmacy, and bringing to you EXCLUSIVE and authentic Patanjali products at rock bottom prices. Our research team picked the best ones from their inventory, and we’re presenting to you top 10 Patanjali products you must buy. You would always be asking for more:

1. Patanjali Herbal Bra

You can buy authentic and pure herbal Patanjali Bra made of Cabbage and other leafy vegetables from here. These are easy to unhook, don’t leave marks on your skin and act as a backup when your fridge is empty and you don’t feel like shopping for vegetables. Purely natural and Baba Ramdev Ke Aashirvaad Se Baney – as Hemaji likes to call it!

Patanjali Herbal Bra
Patanjali Herbal Bra

2. High Capacity Patanjali Bike

Why buy SUV when your entire extended family can ride on a single bike! Yes, This is Baba Ramdev’s answer to India’s traffic woes and transportation needs. It comes with a special guide-book that teaches you Asanas to stuff many people in such a limited space.

High-Capacity Patanjali Bike
High-Capacity Patanjali Bike

3. Patanjali Ayurvedic Whisky

Booze with Baba’s authentic and Ayurvedic Whisky. 100% natural, fat free and nationalistic!

Patanjali Ayurvedic Whisky
Patanjali Ayurvedic Whisky

4. Patanjali Invisible Scooter

Be ready to grab eyeballs in traffic, when you ride this invisible scooter, built with patented stealth technology Babaji invented using Gobar (cow-dung) as a light-defying paint, which even NASA envies.

Patanjali Invisible Scooter
Patanjali Invisible Scooter

5. Patanjali Kesh Kranti

Rubbing your nails brought no results? Don’t worry! That was an April Fool’s joke. Buy our Ayurvedic Kesh Kranti hair oil and get a head full of hairs like Suhel Seth.

Patanjali Kesh Kranti
Patanjali Kesh Kranti

6. Patanjali Viagra

Specially manufactured and designed to work on Hindus only. Now, reproduce 4 children as suggested by Sakshi Maharaj. We tested this magical product on a dog in our Ashram, and results were outstanding!

Patanjali Viagra
Patanjali Viagra

7. Patanjali Herbal Shoes

Ta!Ta! to our ancient Khadaoon! Now wear our authentic herbal shoes, that you can eat when you’re hungry.

Patanjali Herbal Shoes
Patanjali Herbal Shoes

8. Patanjali Ice Cream

Cow is our God and so cow-dung and cow-urine are God’s devine Prasad! Enjoy delicious Patanjali cow-dung icecream without any added flavour or preservatives!

Patanjali Icecream
Patanjali Icecream

9. Patanjali Weight Loss Pill

Flaunt you infinite-packs abs (that would cease to exist) with our unique weight-loss pills. They were tested on Baba himself and result is here for you to see.

Baba Ramdev Weight Loss Pill- Before and After
Baba Ramdev Weight Loss Pill- Before and After

10. Patanjali Porn

This is nothing but a revolution! Baba blended Yogaāsanas with different Kāmasūtra poses our ancestors once championed and came up with our own Desi Porn. Blessed by Asaram and soon to be subsidized by our cultural-nationalist government!

Patanjali Porn
Patanjali Porn

Disclaimer: This sponsored post was brought to you by ChilliKart.com, India’s favourite e-commerce website for authentic and exclusive products!

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Jabra
About Jabra 301 Articles
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