Website For Booking Customized Terrorists Launched

An online terrorism selling website http://www.terimaaka-aatankwad.com which was made by the rapidly emerging terrorism service provider I-PISS, will be available from today, where you can book a customized terrorist.

A glimpse of terrorists' inventory on display at the website.
A glimpse of terrorists’ inventory on display at the website.

The continuous increasing demand of terrorists have now forced bigger brands to make them available online. An online terrorism selling website http://www.terimaaka-aatankwad.com which was made by the rapidly emerging terrorism service provider I-PISS, will be available from today.

You just have to create an account to book your order. One FIR copy of at-least one murder case is needed at the time of registration. You can also sign-up using your religious or political accounts.

Selecting customization attributes you're looking for in a terrorist allows you to get a terrorist who's just fit for your job.
Selecting customization attributes you’re looking for in a terrorist allows you to get a terrorist who’s just fit for your job.

This service is funded by the Prime Conspirator of Napak-istan, Nawaz-Kaheka-Shareef. They are also getting sponsored by a few private companies who serve in anti-peace lotions. When asked, The President of INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF TERRORISTS AND COWARDS (ICTC), Mr. Madar-Al-Kabadi shared his thoughts, “The time of entrepreneurship has emerged, every single organization that were serving others before, have now started building their own legacy. I-PISS is another shameful example of the same. We are really proud to have such hypocrites on our land.”

This idea first came to the CEO of I-PISS, Abu-Bakmat-Al-Bakchodi, when his company failed to deliver many orders due to commitment of intelligence agencies. He later shared his thoughts and inspiration with us at the launch blast.

“See, the demand is very high, but supply is as limited as Napak-istan’s approach towards peace. We are getting many orders from countries like Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and India’s Kashmir. It’s really tough for us to reach every organization in the world,” said Al-Bakchodi.

Mr. Bakchodi also shared his inspiration behind the idea when asked by a news seller. “Well, it came to my mind when I ordered few dildos for my wives from amazon.us. I was totally amazed to see how fast they delivered, what I always wished for.”

“We have different kinds of terrorist available here on http://www.terimaaka-aatankwad.com, as you know that satisfying a customer is always difficult than satisfying someone on bed…at least for me,” he said while taking a long breath. “Especially customers from India’s Kashmir ate my mind by keeping on saying, “Aur Dikhao, Aur Dikhao,” Mr. Bakchodi added.

Later Mr. Bose.dk-Al-Bhikhari, head of the Brain-Washing, Manufacturing, Training and Marketing team informed, “You can choose from a variety of terrorists here, we have products of Interplanetary Quality which will help you complete your job not only on Earth but on Mars, Venus, Jupiter and Moon too. Products like ‘GunKaFun’, ‘BombKaTomb’, ‘InsaniyatKaJanaza’, ‘AmericanHaramis’ and ‘IndianPeacekeeper’ can also be upgraded here.”

Talking to us more, Mr. Bose.dk-Al-Bhikhari said, “We will soon be making our nuclear, aerial and underwear underwater products available along with human bombs. The best part of this idea is- you can also download a terrorist and customize them as per your need. We are also working on our new product- BekarKaWar, which will be capable to reach other galaxies, as we just got the information of another Earth-like planet- KEPLER. We want to go there before humanity reaches,” Mr. Bhikhari added.

But this path of new age terrorism is not easy for I-PISS, because big brands like Al-Be-Qaeda and Lashkar will give a tough competition to I-PISS. Also, ventures like Indian-Suzauddin are in the race. The intelligence agencies and forces are also making spams and viruses to corrupt this anti-humanity, anti-god and anti-religion system, but formation of a new ‘god of terrorists’, who has different views than ours is creating hurdles for them.

This post first appeared on Jay Alani’s blog here.

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Jay Alani
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