AAP Team Gatecrashes Into Cong-BJP Kabaddi Match, Melee Ensues

In a surprise development, an AAP team forced itself into a Cong-BJP kabaddi match and insisted on particiating in the game. The audience was stunned as an AAP team lead by Arvind Kejriwal in a muffler entered the ground just when an angry Meenakshi Lekhi of the BJP lifted the umpire and was on the verge of throwing him outside the ring. Perplexed BJP and Congressmen protested against the intrusion, but without success.

Artist's impression of peaceful moments before the commotion begun.
Artist’s impression of peaceful moments before the commotion begun.

Congress’s Rahul Gandhi said the AAP intrusion was totally against the systemic change that he was planning to bring in kabaddi tournaments after the match was over. BJP’s Narendra Modi said tackling Kejriwal’s team was just a piece of cake, as he had the experience of taking on a hundred opponents single handedly when he was only a little kid. When the referee – now free from Ms Lekhi’s clutches – asked him how, he asked for a glass of water and walked away.

Meanwhile, Kejriwal’s team nonchalantly carried on with the game as if nothing happened. After Congress’s Kapil Sibal tried a foul, Kejriwal slept on the ground in protest for an hour until the referee was forced to hand Sibal a one-match suspension. In the whole melee,  AAP’s Somnath Bharti suddenly  ordered a raid against African couples in the audience who had strolled in to see what a kabaddi match looked like.

When contacted, Congress’s Rahul Gandhi said the biggest loser in this whole episode was women’s empowerment. Meanwhile, Modi said Congress’s gross neglect of Kabaddi over the years led to the fiasco, while Modi fans circulated photoshopped pictures of the match to show Modi lifting Mr. Gandhi in one hand and Mr. Kejriwal in another.

Not to be outdone, an angry Arnab Goswami carried the story on TimesNow with the headline “BJP hits back at AAP for kabaddi intrusion”. Goswami alleged that AAP was plunging the nation into into anarchy by systematically interrupting kabaddi matches all over the country. The programme was then interrupted by TimesNow to show live Modi’s speech on the history of kabaddi, in which he claimed kabaddi was first invented in Gujarat in the year 1000 BC, just 100 years before the Mughals arrived.

The kabaddi fiasco was the prime topic for discussion on the NewsHour, where excited panelists screamed at one another to show serious outrage over the incident. Goswami however, wasn’t too impressed with the quality of the shouting, considering that the previous sports expert on TimesNow was Boria Majumdar.

Originally published at Mano’s blog here.

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Mano Na Mano
About Mano Na Mano 11 Articles
Unconvincingly Yours. Futile attempts at satire. Unreal, almost unfunny.

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