Baba Ramdev Launches Swadeshi Porn After Patanjali Maggi

This new Swadeshi porn website is themed on the lines of 'Naughty America', and will be called Natkhat India, to be made available online at natkhatindia.com soon.

Haridwar: India’s great saint Baba Ramdev is obsessed with reinventing banned stuff it seems. After launching Patanjali Maggi following Maggi ban, he launched India’s first Swadeshi Porn website today.

Baba Ramdev gesturing something, that our reporter couldn't decipher.
Baba Ramdev gesturing something at our reporter when we inquired about content. We’re yet to decipher what he meant.

This new Swadeshi porn website is themed on the lines of ‘Naughty America’, and will be called Natkhat India, to be made available online at natkhatindia.com soon.

Baba Ramdev brandishing a prototype of his new product to a gathering of cheering Bhakts.
Baba Ramdev brandishing a prototype of his new product to a gathering of cheering Bhakts.

According to our sources in Patanjali Yogpeeth, a group of Yogis, Aghoris and Sadhus have been working tirelessly for two months on this new format, under the leadership of TFII chairman Yudhisthir Chauhan. When Teekhi Mirchi asked if they already knew government’s plan to ban porn websites in advance, Mr. Yudhishthir replied it was just an ‘erotic coincidence’.

“This is nothing but a revolution! We’re blending Yoga āsanas with different Kāmasūtra poses our ancestors once championed,” said one Acharya Maalkrishna. “We’re in talks with Asaram Bapuji too. Once he gets bail as a result of daily twitter trends by his followers, we’ll start using his expertise in the field,” he added.

This undercover Teekhi Mirchi reporter happened to pass through Natkhat India’s studio, and overheard some dialogues being rehearsed, such as ‘Karne se Hoga Praan-Nath, Aur Veg Se Kariye!’, ‘Apna Daayaan Pair Uthaao Priye, Aur Zor-Zor Se Shwaas Chhodo’… among many others that we can’t publish here.

“We’ve finally realized Modiji’s dream of ‘Make In India’. This will generate huge amount of local (Blow)jobs in India,” said one enthusiastic Baba supporter.

Our sources say, government is considering subsidizing net packs for those who download Swadeshi porn under a new government scheme called (Apna Hath Jagannath) Sabka Hath, Sabka Vikas.

Update: Theekhi Mirchi has been getting uninterrupted inquiry phone calls from Karnataka MLAs on when these porn clips will be made available. Karnataka assembly will soon pass a bill for making legal watching Swadeshi porn in assembly.

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Jabra
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Stupidity and sycophancy are my fuel.

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