Allahabad: This is going to change the way Indians shop in super-marts and local grocery stores. Teekhi Mirchi has learnt that at least half-a dozen companies are tirelessly working on launching a wide-range of products made from cow urine and cow dung. The marketing strategy and supply chain is already ready, and your grocery store next door is soon going to get a makeover. We bring to you EXCLUSIVE snaps of these amazing, but bizarre products. Order them before stock is gone!
1. This summer, soothe your soul with this new refreshing drink
Makers claim they extract cow urine from a ‘virgin’ and Indian breed cow, because only urine from virgin Indian cow has divine properties. They however, don’t reveal how they ensure that.
2. Start Your Day With Gobar Soap
Your soft, glowing and young skin deserves nothing less than this amazing soap prepared from cow-dung. It saves you from all skin-related problems. This soap smells great and guarantees you’ll stand apart in the crowd.
3. A wide range of beauty and grooming products for you
Frustrated with using fairness creams and other beauty products for years with no result? Then try these beauty products for men and women, made from cow urine and cow dung, especially designed for your soft and glowing skin. Manufacturers are working day and night on launching Gau-Deo, that will make wild ladies run to you like those in sexy deo ads.
4. Packaged drinking water with that familiar smell
Next time you go to any restaurant or 5 star hotel, insist on Gomata brand packaged drinking water. It has essential minerals only found in urine, and ‘that’ familiar smell of Goshala will make you feel ‘at home’.
5. Say goodbye to aerated drinks, insist of 7-in-1 cow-urine cola and Soda.
This 7-in-1 cola and soda prepared from cow-urine will surely enhance you binge experience. Whether you like to mix your black rum with soft-drink or prefer making your scotch peg with soda to lift your mood following hard work entire weekdays, mother cow’s got it all for you!
6. Multipurpose Cow Dung powder, prepare your own recipe
If you love to experiment with new dishes in your kitchen, this cow dung powder is for you. Mix with Dal or prepare thick gravy for your curry, or just mix with your favorite Raita, its amazing taste will bring tears of joy in your eyes, reminding of your village. This powder also tastes great when poured in shakes and smoothies.
7. Gaunyle, The official floor cleaner of government
Bored of that stinky Phenyl smell in government offices? Those days of misfortune have gone. Indian government has decided to use cow urine as a floor cleaner in all government offices. Another reason for you to stay away from brokers, and get that personal-touch from Sarkari-Babus.
8. A wide range of Medicines to cure almost every disease on this planet
Nature made sure mother cow has answer for all the suffering of this mankind. Indians have known this sinc ages, and now we’ve got wide range of medicines prepared from urine and poo. Tooth powder, nasal-drop, eye-drop, digestive aid, liver purifier, blood purifier…you name it, they have it!
9. Distilled cow urine, possibly for batteries
Now, this is something we couldn’t understand. Why humans would drink distilled cow urine; and not the organic, pure raw urine. The answer is: it will be used to rejuvenate batteries that we use in our car or in inverter at home. The batteries last 10-20 years longer, its manufacturer claims.
10. Cow Dung Cakes for your breakfast and office tiffin
Are you among those who always have to skip breakfast due to morning rush? Then this cow dung cake is just made for you. Enjoy the richness and yummy taste of cow dung in your breakfast, take it in your tiffin and share with your colleagues too during lunch in your office canteen. Those watching you would burn like crazy with envy.