1. Mitron, since childhood I wanted to twist kangaroo’s ears!
Though holding and twisting Kangaroo’s ears will be tempting, you may injure yourself since Kangaroos are powerful animals.
2. Don’t take selfie when Whale is around
Ok. We know you love camera and would die to get yourself clicked. Just don’t take selfie when Whale is around. They have no fucking idea about your popularity among your fans in India.
3. Stay away from Brett Lee
We don’t mind you claiming to have hit fours and sixes in Australia, but please don’t jump in a cricket stadium where Brett Lee is practicing…and insist on batting to him. It doesn’t work out there and may annoy people.
4. No Bhashan on Beach, Please!
Just because you
fooled inspired people here doesn’t mean you should start giving Bhashans everywhere, especially when people are relaxing on the beach.
5. Watersport may spoil your makeup, Avoid
Hard to give it a miss, but a big NO to water sport. Makeup you put on your hairs and face not gonna love it. I heard dolphins out there hate fakers!
6. Don’t gift this Globe to Tony Abbott
We’re a fan of your knowledge of geography (and history), but please don’t flaunt it before Australian PM Tony Abbott by gifting a Globe model like this. Not everybody takes shit!
7. Don’t bring 15000 Indian students on a single plane
We still remember your Rambo act during Uttarakhand floods and appreciate it, but don’t bring all stranded Indian students (victim of racial abuse) on a single plane. Too risky!
8. Ask you fans to avoid photoshopping like this
A lot of hype would be created by Indian media. Your
Bhakts fans in India would be tempted to claim these penguins are wearing NaMo masks and are dancing while you give your charged speeches. We request you to please ask them not to do it. We’ve had enough of weird photoshops during last elections.
9. Not too much wandering with your buddy
You’ve got plenty of business to do in Australia, especially on nuclear fuel. Don’t spend too much time wandering with your buddy, Adani. Get him some lucrative contracts, but not all since it may raise red-flags in some quarters.
10. Don’t say Sydney is part of Gujrat
Please don’t take Amitabh Bachchan along with you to shoot some ad film like – “Sydney: Yahan Khooshboo hai Gujrat ki…“