10 things Modi must avoid doing in Australia

PM Narendra Modi is on a tour to ASEAN countries and would soon visit Australia, where he is expected to address NRIs, like he did in Madison Square, NY. As a concerned Indian media, we've compiled a list of things he would want to, but shouldn't do to avoid embarrassment for him, his fans and the country.

1. Mitron, since childhood I wanted to twist kangaroo’s ears!

While holding and twisting Kangaroo's ears may be tempting, he may injure himself as Kangaroos are powerful animals

Though holding and twisting Kangaroo’s ears will be tempting, you may injure yourself since Kangaroos are powerful animals.

2. Don’t take selfie when Whale is around

Ok. We know you love camera and would die to get yourself clicked. Just don't take selfie when Whale is around, as they've no fucking idea about your popularity among Bhakts in India.

Ok. We know you love camera and would die to get yourself clicked. Just don’t take selfie when Whale is around. They have no fucking idea about your popularity among your fans in India.

3. Stay away from Brett Lee

We don't mind you claiming in India to have hit fours and sixes, but just don't bat when Brett Lee is bowling

We don’t mind you claiming to have hit fours and sixes in Australia, but please don’t jump in a cricket stadium where Brett Lee is practicing…and insist on batting to him. It doesn’t work out there and may annoy people.

4. No Bhashan on Beach, Please!

Just because you fooled people here doesn't mean you should start giving Bhashans everywhere.

Just because you fooled inspired people here doesn’t mean you should start giving Bhashans everywhere, especially when people are relaxing on the beach.

5. Watersport may spoil your makeup, Avoid

Hard to give it a miss, but a big NO to watersport. Makeup you put on your hairs and face won't love it. I've heard dolphins out there hate fakers!

Hard to give it a miss, but a big NO to water sport. Makeup you put on your hairs and face not gonna love it. I heard dolphins out there hate fakers!

6. Don’t gift this Globe to Tony Abbott

We're fan of your knowledge of geography (and history), but please don't try to flaunt it before Australian PM Tony Abbott by gifting a Globe model like this

We’re a fan of your knowledge of geography (and history), but please don’t flaunt it before Australian PM Tony Abbott by gifting a Globe model like this. Not everybody takes shit!

7. Don’t bring 15000 Indian students on a single plane

We're a fan of your Rambo act during Uttarakhand floods, but don't bring all stranded Indian students (victim of racial abuse) on a single plane

We still remember your Rambo act during Uttarakhand floods and appreciate it, but don’t bring all stranded Indian students (victim of racial abuse) on a single plane. Too risky!

 8. Ask you fans to avoid photoshopping like this

A lot of hype would be created by Indian media. Your fans right here would be tempted to claim that penguins are wearing NaMo masks and dancing to welcome you. Just ask them to not do it. We've had enough of weird photoshops.

A lot of hype would be created by Indian media. Your Bhakts fans in India would be tempted to claim these penguins are wearing NaMo masks and are dancing while you give your charged speeches. We request you to please ask them not to do it. We’ve had enough of weird photoshops during last elections.

9. Not too much wandering with your buddy

We've got plenty of business to do in Australia and don't spend too much time wandering with your buddy - Adani. Get him some contracts, but not all.

You’ve got plenty of business to do in Australia, especially on nuclear fuel. Don’t spend too much time wandering with your buddy, Adani. Get him some lucrative contracts, but not all since it may raise red-flags in some quarters.

10. Don’t say Sydney is part of Gujrat

Please don't bring Amitabh Bachchan with with you to shoot an Ad film - Sydney: Yahan Khooshboo hai Gujrat ki...

Please don’t take Amitabh Bachchan along with you to shoot some ad film like – “Sydney: Yahan Khooshboo hai Gujrat ki…

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Kumar Keshav
About Kumar Keshav 56 Articles
Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

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