Condom companies in India decide to manufacture birthday baloons now

After Health Minister Dr. Harshvardhan's suggestion that people in India should wear values instead of condoms while having sex, Condom manufacturers in India have decided to halt production of this useless commodity.

Mumbai: After Health Minister Dr. Harshvardhan’s suggestion that people in India should wear values instead of condoms while having sex, Condom manufacturers in India have decided to halt production of this useless commodity. This decision was taken in a hastily convened meeting of “Confederation Of Condom Kaarigars” (COCKs) in Mumbai.

“We’re going to witness a huge decline in demand for Condoms…as more and more Indians inspired by our honorable Health Minister stop using our products and replace them with religious and spiritual books in their bedrooms. Our estimate is that, this business of manufacturing Condoms is unviable now. So, we decided to tweak our production line a little, and instead started manufacturing branded birthday balloons.”, Durex India chairman Mast Ram Singh told Teekhi Mirchi.

Children celebrating birthday with Durex Birthday baloons
Children celebrating birthday with Durex Birthday Balloons

Commenting on this latest development, a well known advertisement guru told Teekhi Mirchi, “People were already angry with these culture-damaging advertisements on TV. It was severely contaminating innocent minds of Indians, who otherwise are known for respecting women and refraining from sexual violence. That’s the reason Sushma Swarajji had to ban these pervert ads on TV.”

This decision has been received with mixed reactions from citizens and experts alike. While netizens hailed the move as a next step towards child-empowerment and purification of highly westernized Indian society, some people think otherwise.

“My 4-year old child Pappu came shouting towards me in a shopping mall – Papa-Papa, Mujhe Durex waala Gubbara laake do…main aur Pinky khoob khelenge isake saath. Bada Maza Aayega”A concerned Mumbaikar (name withheld) revealed to Teekha Reporter.

“This brought chilling sensation down my spine. I felt completely numb, as people around me in shopping mall burst into laughter. I was speechless for next 5 minutes. These guys should refrain using these brands on children products.”, he further added.

When Teekhi Mirchi tried to get Dr. Harshvardhan‘s reaction, who is also an ENT doctor, he initially seemed shocked and expressed unawareness, but further shouted angrily, “What?, they started selling condoms in disguise of Balloons? We’ll now ban Balloons too, so that it’s not misused by children!”

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Jabra
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1 Comment

  1. Dear Sir/Madam,

    I wish to inform your esteem company about ongoing tender bid in west Africa here in Ghana for the supply of CONDOM” for HIV promotional Rally / national developmental project 2015/2016.

    This Tender is open to foreign suppliers whose company products meet international standards and also willing to bid for a tender.

    Terms of Payment: If the Order is given to you, An upfront payment of 80% (T/T) will be made to your account, while 20% will be paid before shipment.

    my concerend is how we can work together so that my company will secure this supply on your behalf because of
    my commission,if your willing to participate we need your quotation details
    for presentation to the project committee for onward/evaluation and approval of award,

    Product Name: Durex or latex condom,
    Quantity from 5,000,000, five million pieces, Above,
    Material: Natural latex or Durex.
    Standard: ISO
    Overall Length: 160-180mm
    Width When Flat Laid: 49+/-2mm,52 +/-2mm,55 +/-2mm,
    thickness:0.06mm
    Inspection:100% Electronically tested.

    Style:Dotted or Plain,with Strawbery or lubricant flavour,
    color:Natural or Red,
    “Standard Safety”Suitable for Virginal only,
    Flavour:Strawbery,
    Lubricant: Silicon Oil,
    Packing: Rectangle foil:Square foil,
    Unit packing:In bulk, 3pcs/ Wallet, or 3 pcs/box,
    Boxes of 3, and /144 pcs = 1 gross, transparent condom “Safety”,

    GENERAL CONDITIONS:

    1.Companies must submit with their bid the latest specification and details/specification of the product or Equipments they proposed to supply, upon condition that , if the bid is accepted, a contract will be entered into within 3 days for contract proceeding,

    2.This Projects is for companies who are very ready to apply for Tender bids and have understanding the meaning of bidding for tender.

    3.BEAR IN MIND THAT NATIONAL OFFICIAL TENDER REGISTRATION start from monday 14th till 30th september 2015, WHICH IS THE KEY STEP TO PARTICIPATE IN THE TENDER AND GUARANTY YOUR WINNING,interested company shall take the little responsibility of handling his or her company tender registration fee with the project Authority, if your interesting reply so that i give you details on how to proceed,

    I am Project Implementation Authority agent.

    Please call me for more details and information on how to proceed.
    Regards

    Mr.Philip frimpson
    133 airport road Accra ghana,
    email: philipfrimpong222@hotmail.com
    +233 2696 85237 phone,

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